1 In the beginning man created god.
2 And the man’s understanding was without form, and void; and darkness was upon the face of his science. And the Spirit of man moved upon the face of his reasoning.
3 And man said, Let there be a written scripture: and there was a written scripture.
4 And man saw the scripture, that it was good and literally inspired: and man divided the scripture from all else.
5 And man called the scripture “Truth”, and all else he called “Error”. And the evening and the morning were the first day.
6 And Enlightenment said, Let there be a spherical earth in the midst of the firmanent, and let it divide the flat-earthers from all others.
7 And Science confirmed the finding, and divided the flat-earthers from all others: and it was so.
8 And man reinterpreted all scripture regarding the foundations of the earth, the pillars of the earth, and the end of the earth, as poetry. And the evening and the morning were the second day.
9 And Enlightenment said, Let sun be the center of our system, and let the earth appear as a planet: and it was so.
10 And Science confirmed the finding; and the heliocentrists were sorely persecuted: yet man reinterpreted all scripture that described the sun in his course, the sun’s joy at traveling, and the sun’s movement, “poetry”; yet retrograde movements of planets continued to be an act of God.
11 And Enlightenment said, Let Newton’s law of gravity describe planetary moments, and Kepler’s laws of motion describe the planets in their ellipses, and the cosmology according to this kind: and it was so.
12 And cosmology brought forth knowledge of the stars and removed the retrograde movements of planets, and the skies brought forth learning: and man saw that it was good. And all scriptures of the starry host, their travels, their fallings, were deemed poetic, metaphoric, or regarding angels.
13 And the evening and the morning were the third day.
14 And Enlightenment said, Let there be the microscope, and let it lead to knowledge regarding the spread of diseases and all manner of ailments:
15 And let these discoveries lead to cures never before prescribed in scripture: and it was so.
16 And Enlightenment made two great discoveries; the great light of the germ theory of disease: and it made the atomic discoveries also.
17 And man examined his scriptures, and regarded at ill-ease those of demons, and sickness, and plagues, as offenses delivered by the hand of god;
18 And liberal interpretations cast aside diverse such stories as legend.
19 And the evening and the morning were the fourth day.
20 And Enlightenment said, Let the evolutionary theory bring forth abundantly the moving creature that hath life, and fowl that may fly above the earth in the open firmament of heaven.
21 And Evolution by natural selection created great whales, and every living creature that moveth, which the waters brought forth abundantly, after their kind, and every winged fowl after his kind: and Science confirmed, and it was good.
22 And Evolution blessed them, saying, Be fruitful, be adaptive, and be wary of thine predators; and fill the waters in the seas, and let fowl multiply in the earth. And let all kinds which do not adapt become extinct, forever preserved in the fossil record as a testimony to My handiwork. And man reevaluated the Genesis accounts, and deemed them fables and legend.
23 And the evening and the morning were the fifth day.
24 And Enlightenment said, Let the quantum theory be born, and let the most powerful telescopes and sensors detect the origins of the universe; the marvel of created matter and energy ex nihilo: and it was so.
25 And Science measured the cosmic events after their kind, and explained diverse marvels of nature: and Science saw that it was good.
26 And Enlightenment said, Let us free man of the scriptures made in his ancient image, after his likeness: and let them have dominion over knowledge of his origins, and over diseases of the body, and over the superstitions, over the climate of the earth, and over every creeping religion that creepeth through its scriptures.
27 So Enlightenment freed man from his own image, from the image of God freed he him; male and female freed he them.
28 And Enlightenment blessed them, and Enlightenment said unto them, Be fruitful, and be aware of thy place, know that the land is your fragile home and it is not yours to subdue it: and have respect over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, over thy kind, and over every living thing that liveth upon the earth.
29 And Enlightenment beheld everything that had been made, and, behold, it was very good. And the evening and the morning were the sixth day.